Frangipani

Polyamory, bisexuality and maybe even some atheism

Idling March 8, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Araliya @ 9:50 am

I wasn’t kidding about seeing gay girls everywhere. Everywhere. At every meeting I’ve been to, around the coffee shops, at the library, at the food festival I went to the other week, at departmental welcome-back drinks, out grocery shopping. And while there’s been an influx of people now that school is back on, it’s not like they’ve all suddenly materialized – I’ve just started coming out of my shell a bit more and going along to things where I might actually meet real people on my own.

And is it just me or do queer people touch more? Their friends, I mean. This is a bias I’ve had for a very long time and it might just be that I don’t observe straight people in quite the same way. I’m an affectionate person. I like hugs and cuddles and kisses and putting an arm around someone you like just because you want to and not because you have any sexual designs on them.

In the past week I’ve met more straight people than gay people, but I’ve had more gay people – two men, one woman, and one genderqueer person – make immediate contact. Just little things like a touch on the arm when they can’t hear me over the crowd, standing a lot closer, throwing an arm around me to amble down for drinks, touching in greeting, getting my attention by touching/tugging my hair a little, and, my favorite, flashing that big grin that makes you feel hugged all the way across the room. And it’s not just with me either. It’s a general ease with touching and physical space. Or at least, it seems to be.

I may be completely wrong and might have been looking the other way every time a straight – or obviously straight – person was casually affectionate with someone other than their significant other. But yeah, of course I think I’m right. Oh and, except for one of the people I mentioned – who probably assumes I’m a lesbian after we had a chat about a local queer group – I haven’t said anything about my ‘orientation’ (or lack thereof) to anyone and, as far as I know, present as straight.

This is total conjecture, of course, but hey, join in anyway. Do you agree or have you come across something totally different? Do you find queer folk more affectionate when you first meet? (And is that a discriminatory-type question?)

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One Response to “Idling”

  1. marleenken Says:

    Discriminatory…? Of that I’m not sure. But if so than I guess I discriminate because I’ve seen the same thing. At the same time, I’ve seen the casual affection in very religious people too. The conspiracy theorist in me says that its all the same and everybody’s gay (and out to get me.) But maybe its more that being comfortable with yourself about something distinguishing makes you more inclined towards casual contact with other people. I have no real evidence to support this, its just conjecture supported by observation.


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