I love Bitchy Jones, and not just because she knows how to use apostrophes properly. Her latest post, On Being Straight, talks about the routine subordination of female sexuality to male sexuality. Nobody’s going out of their way here: it’s just a given that women are not sexual except in relation to men and what gets the latter off.
I’m crosser even than usual, because this statement – viewed as a kind of meta – just it feels like such a perfect encapsulation of the way female sexuality is viewed by everyone from Freud up. The vagina accommodates what’s offered! Yeah, right. Female sexuality will basically adjust itself to meet the needs of whatever is being asked of it.
‘Cause as we all know female sexuality is all fluid and undefined.
Thus a sexually liberated woman will simply be open to anything. Any sexual experience at all. Being whatever is convenient. In a way that men are simply not expected to be.
In fact, it often feels like if you are a woman who is sex positive you are required to be an adventuress, constantly searching for new things that might turn you on. You are required not to rule anything out or you’re not really playing the game. And ruling out the sex with women? How lame.
And it’s even worse if you’re poly too. The poly default is that it is about the woman in the obligatory couple exploring her bisectshuality. Hence the eternal quest for the hot bi babe to make the triangle complete. But you don’t have to be a bi woman to be a poly woman. It can just be about getting more dick.
She then speaks specifically about the BDSM subculture and while I’m not personally involved in it, I find everything she says relevant and applicable to wider sexual practices.
Oh and I also love Bitchy Jones because she says things like this: