Polyamory, bisexuality and maybe even some atheism

Public Service Announcement: When is a mango not a mango? March 26, 2008

Filed under: Lust,Sex — Araliya @ 10:59 pm
Tags: ,

When a rather attractive man casually boards a tram with a half-peeled mango in his hand and proceeds to eat it, that’s when.

Now, you can hold the mango as you would any hard fruit, but allow me to remind you that mangoes are not hard. No. They are, in fact, rather squishy and juicy. So much so that, while you may dive in with the ol’ bite and suck, some juices will nevertheless escape and start to run. Given that you will be hanging on to your grocery shopping with the same hand that’s bracing you during your ride home, you will have no choice but to catch these dribbles with your mouth. Much licking, lapping and slurping will ensue, after which, you will turn your attention once again to biting into the fruit, causing more juices to go running down the sides and onto your hand and wrist. To prevent them from traveling down your forearm and dripping off your elbow, you will have to lick them off your skin. That done, you will, with remarkable unselfconscious and laudable dedication, continue to nibble and suck on the gorgeously textured flesh of the fruit in your hand.

Incidentally, you will also be driving anyone in possession of both a cunt and eyes in your vicinity Absolutely. Fucking. Batshit. Insane.

Just thought you should know.


8 Responses to “Public Service Announcement: When is a mango not a mango?”

  1. runningoutandabout Says:

    Driving them insane or turning them on? Because reading that kinda did the latter to me.

  2. Araliya Says:

    Surely the two aren’t mutually exclusive? How about insanely turned on?

  3. runningoutandabout Says:

    I think that just might work for me. But really, you don’t think mango eating is sexy?

  4. Araliya Says:

    You’ve got it backwards, love. I do/did. That was the point of this being a PSA: If you’re going to do this sort of thing in public, you are going to be making random women very horny.

  5. Also if you’re going to be posting about it in public — and I don’t even like men! It must be the mango…

  6. runningoutandabout Says:

    I see. I was confused once again, it is best everyone gets used to that.

  7. ochrequeer Says:

    Oh. I think it’d make many people very horny indeed. This is why I stand by my claim that the mango is the greatest fruit ever.

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