Frangipani

Polyamory, bisexuality and maybe even some atheism

Trundling along June 3, 2008

Filed under: Bisexuality,Polyamory,Sexuality — Araliya @ 11:43 am
Tags: , ,

This week will mark my first month of active non-monogamy and it’s all been going rather well. The only even slightly negative aspect of all of this is finding enough hours in the week to accommodate everyone’s schedules. Naturally enough, it doesn’t remain completely balanced week to week, but I think it’s evened out pretty well at the end of the month.

I am still dating M, the woman I mentioned in my earlier post, and at some point we’re trying to get our partners (and, where applicable, their partners) together so everyone can say hello to each other. That promises to be something of an organizational minefield, so we may have to go ahead without some of the partners in attendance or just meet in smaller groups. It should be interesting, at any rate.

And I may have someone new to add to the mix, which is what makes me worry about having bitten off more than I can chew. A and I have been getting increasingly close over the past month as well and we’ve gotten to a point where it seems the only thing to do is make things a bit more serious. I have to admit he makes me just a bit giddy and I realize that I’m far more emotionally invested here than I had realized. Initially, I was pretty clear or not wanting to date men at all, but the funny thing is that I still am, and I don’t really feel like I’m contradicting myself. Like H, A doesn’t fit neatly into a gender classification and that makes me think anew of the idea that ultimately a person’s biological sex is no barrier or limitation to attraction. That said, I rarely if ever go for men who act ‘like men’, whatever that means.

Protocols and schedules are the main thing now. And trying to give each relationship as much time as it needs. M is new to poly as well, but her other partner has been poly for quite a long time and is very good about prompting dialog and keeping communication channels open. It’s also really helpful to be able to discuss the difference between monogamous relationships and non-monogamy with someone who’s also only just figuring it out. The difference is easy enough to grasp in theory, but it takes a while for it to sink in when you’ve spent the better part of your life operating under one set of assumptions. There are moments when you catch yourself reacting the way you’ve been conditioned to do in a monogamous setup and it takes a moment to realize what you’re doing, shake it off, and then re-engage. We’re doing pretty well at it so far though, thanks in large part to the support we’re getting from our respective partners and the community as well. I know it’s not likely to stay are rosy as this indefinitely and everyone will have ups and downs, but it helps to know that there are other people around who know this and are willing to offer a hand or a shoulder, as needed. At the moment, I just feel incredibly lucky and happy.

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